Intentionality - Mindfully focused

Okay I told Mike I would give him some writing...    For the past couple months, I started a new morning routine.  My wife and I get the girls up,  have breakfast, and then I put the girls into the car and head out for my morning Peet’s run.  That part has been pretty consistent for the last year or so, but about 4 months ago I started paying for the person behind me as well.  The drive though at Peets is set up so you can order, then you wait for about three cars in front of you before you get up to the window.   Siena was curious about it at first, and asked questions about why.  I told her “it’s a great way to start the day, for both me and the car behind us.”  Giving to strangers is something I’d like to imprint on her, if possible.   One day - I went through the Peet’s line, and realized I forgot part of the order - and since the line was fairly short, I circled back around to put in a second order.  By the time I pul...

I picked up my Niece (she's AH-mazing) from the airport last night - and was telling her about the most recent developments with Siena (we've had a couple reoccurrences of Temper Tantrums) - and during the conversation - I used a new analogy that I really liked.  Context for the conversation was around how I - as the parent - approached the Temper Tantrum (TT) issues. There are two parts of her brain in play - the lizard brain - all raw emotions... and her thinking brain, the part that tries to regulate her emotions. I explained - "One of the hardest switches for me as a parent was to reframe the TT.  If you view it as an outburst, or defiance, or bad behavior - the approach to solving that is with consequences, rules, and punishment (all while being angry, upset, and embarrassed at the behavior)." Instead of thinking of it that way - I view her TT's like watching a child.... drowning.   There are a ton of advantages to this - the two most notable are: 1...

I'm kinda grouping up some posts with a "Things Siena says" or "Siena Hacks" or "Tooling - fitting yourself for success"... This one centered on a common theme - problems with dinner / manners / eating... etc. My wife and I spend a disproportionate amount of time trying to manage the "family eating" environment.  We embody good habits - and good manners.  But the persistence of bad manners with the kids is... almost impressive.  Well - kid.  Kyra is still under 1 - so her manners aren't being examined here...  I digress.. Siena is at the island - "eating dinner".  I put eating dinner in quotes because she isn't actually eating anything.  She's playing "near" her food.  Rolling up her placemat.  Moving things around. No matter what is said - almost no progress is being made (or even attempted) at dinner. After several minutes of this - I start down the road of finding something to help focus the conver...

The other night - I was having a bedtime conversation with Siena about rules and why things are the way they are.  Specifically - we were talking about if she should have her door open or closed for sleeping. She started with wanting her door open.  I said the door needed to be closed. Siena - "But I want the door open!" Me:  "The door needs to be closed so if your sister wakes up - she doesn't wake you up since she's sleeping in the loft next to your room." Siena - "Can you ask me about the door Daddy?" Me - "It's not really a discussion - your door needs to be closed." Siena - "Can you please ask me about the door Daddy?" Me: "Ok, (sighs) - what would you like to do with your door Siena?" Siena - "Can we close it please - that way my little sister doesn't wake me up." Seriously.  I just don't even...  <3 -Daddy.

I promised Mike I would write a quick note about something I said the other day to him... Instead of doing that - I'm going to post part of a call I had with a friend of mine today - where I talked about Mike and the aforementioned incident... (lightly edited for readability and clarity) <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> ...(on the topic of blogs...) Yeah, I've got a couple [to complete] - one which is I owe my father in law a short piece. I gave him a compliment the other day in a way that he was not expecting. And so he asked me to write about it. I told him, "I have always enjoyed the fact that you're the type of guy that continues to push yourself instead of just running out the clock.  Most people I know that are old fall into a pattern where they just repeat things they've already don...

I just love this story - makes my heart happy.  :) ===== Dec 5th, 2019 ===== So, this morning, as part of the normal routine, I was getting Siena ready for school.  Lunchbox in hand, we headed down the stairs to put on her boots before getting into the car.  I help her get both of her feet into boots, then opened the door to the garage and said, "Come on, let's get in the car... time to go to school." She stood up, and then moved up to the second stair above the landing. I know what she's thinking about doing... so I interject... "Siena, don't jump!  Don't jump on the stairs!  It's dangerous...  Let's get going." She paused for a moment, looked down... and then jumped.   She landed with a "Tada!" sort of landing... and then looked over at me. Exasperated, I dropped down to her level, and said, "Come here" (not angry - just a "teaching moment" voice) She walked over slowly... "Siena Grace - ...