Intentionality - Mindfully focused

I picked up my Niece (she's AH-mazing) from the airport last night - and was telling her about the most recent developments with Siena (we've had a couple reoccurrences of Temper Tantrums) - and during the conversation - I used a new analogy that I really liked.  Context for the conversation was around how I - as the parent - approached the Temper Tantrum (TT) issues. There are two parts of her brain in play - the lizard brain - all raw emotions... and her thinking brain, the part that tries to regulate her emotions. I explained - "One of the hardest switches for me as a parent was to reframe the TT.  If you view it as an outburst, or defiance, or bad behavior - the approach to solving that is with consequences, rules, and punishment (all while being angry, upset, and embarrassed at the behavior)." Instead of thinking of it that way - I view her TT's like watching a child.... drowning.   There are a ton of advantages to this - the two most notable are: 1...

I'm kinda grouping up some posts with a "Things Siena says" or "Siena Hacks" or "Tooling - fitting yourself for success"... This one centered on a common theme - problems with dinner / manners / eating... etc. My wife and I spend a disproportionate amount of time trying to manage the "family eating" environment.  We embody good habits - and good manners.  But the persistence of bad manners with the kids is... almost impressive.  Well - kid.  Kyra is still under 1 - so her manners aren't being examined here...  I digress.. Siena is at the island - "eating dinner".  I put eating dinner in quotes because she isn't actually eating anything.  She's playing "near" her food.  Rolling up her placemat.  Moving things around. No matter what is said - almost no progress is being made (or even attempted) at dinner. After several minutes of this - I start down the road of finding something to help focus the conver...

The other night - I was having a bedtime conversation with Siena about rules and why things are the way they are.  Specifically - we were talking about if she should have her door open or closed for sleeping. She started with wanting her door open.  I said the door needed to be closed. Siena - "But I want the door open!" Me:  "The door needs to be closed so if your sister wakes up - she doesn't wake you up since she's sleeping in the loft next to your room." Siena - "Can you ask me about the door Daddy?" Me - "It's not really a discussion - your door needs to be closed." Siena - "Can you please ask me about the door Daddy?" Me: "Ok, (sighs) - what would you like to do with your door Siena?" Siena - "Can we close it please - that way my little sister doesn't wake me up." Seriously.  I just don't even...  <3 -Daddy.