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Showing posts from 2019

Running the clock out, a poor strategy...

I promised Mike I would write a quick note about something I said the other day to him... Instead of doing that - I'm going to post part of a call I had with a friend of mine today - where I talked about Mike and the aforementioned incident... (lightly edited for readability and clarity) <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> ...(on the topic of blogs...) Yeah, I've got a couple [to complete] - one which is I owe my father in law a short piece. I gave him a compliment the other day in a way that he was not expecting. And so he asked me to write about it. I told him, "I have always enjoyed the fact that you're the type of guy that continues to push yourself instead of just running out the clock.  Most people I know that are old fall into a pattern where they just repeat things they've already don...

Stair Jumping...

I just love this story - makes my heart happy.  :) ===== Dec 5th, 2019 ===== So, this morning, as part of the normal routine, I was getting Siena ready for school.  Lunchbox in hand, we headed down the stairs to put on her boots before getting into the car.  I help her get both of her feet into boots, then opened the door to the garage and said, "Come on, let's get in the car... time to go to school." She stood up, and then moved up to the second stair above the landing. I know what she's thinking about doing... so I interject... "Siena, don't jump!  Don't jump on the stairs!  It's dangerous...  Let's get going." She paused for a moment, looked down... and then jumped.   She landed with a "Tada!" sort of landing... and then looked over at me. Exasperated, I dropped down to her level, and said, "Come here" (not angry - just a "teaching moment" voice) She walked over slowly... "Siena Grace - ...

Mindful Thoughts on Free Time. (Not what you think...)

A short play entitled - Life at 6 pm.  Everyday. <Open Curtain> "Please come to the dinner table - dinner's ready" ... Daughter... clearly heard me - isn't acknowledging it at all... Siena!  Come to the dinner table. ... Not even a glance in my direction... continues playing....  Honestly - it's impressive that she can pull this off all the time... Siena!  Dinner's ready!!!!  (muttering under breath now like a crazy person... "I know she can hear me... but does she answer? Nooooooo....  we need to stack stuffed toys on top of our sister now apparently.... mutter mutter....) and.... <scene> So - this is a regular trope around my house - especially the crazy person part.  I'm going to give you my current method of breaking this cycle - which came from a different point - made in a different context. "Children have a desire to control their world - so you will find yourself at wits end while they demand to put their sho...

Pragmatic Mindfulness - Detachment

Warning - this blog isn't going to be cohesive - rather it will be random important ideas I want to put down in writing for future reflection...  You've been warned! Detachment - or Metacognative Awareness - or Assuming the role of Observer...  I think the easiest word to use in this case is detachment - although the other two are probably more accurate if you are running within the mindfulness framework.  Regardless of the term - though - this is one of the few areas I'm really grateful for finding during the past two years of mindfulness focus.  It generally works like this: Attached:  In an interaction that evokes a emotional response (like anger) - being angry takes up all of your bandwidth and you act as if all of you is angry in the situation. Detached:  In an interaction that evokes an emotional response (like anger) - you watch the situation unfold - as if it's a movie scene with characters - and almost all of you isn't angry at all (ju...

Listen to your feet when they vote….

Awhile ago, I used to joke that I liked to set the bar low so I’d always exceed it.  There is a lot to unpack in there - but for now I’m just going to concentrate on one of the facets. Most of the time I try to retain as much flexibility as possible - letting me change course easily, adapt, assess, reassess, reassess the reassessments, etc.  Some of this is due to my personality type - I prefer collecting information to make an informed decision - instead of making decisions early and adjusting on the fly.  I prefer leaving things ambiguous unless I know exactly what I want - and I know I’ll be successful for sure.  I alluded to something like this in my first blog post ( here ). When it comes to any of your normal “productivity enhancement schemes” - they recommend doing things regularly - in a routine… but my inner nature fights that. I prefer observing and letting my feet do the voting.  I’ll give a quick real life example. Earlier this year my mind d...

Intentionality: On perfect practice - a study on goal setting.

I mentioned to Mike the other day - as we were on our weekly call - that when I look back over the week - I don’t have a sense of accomplishment. I survive the week, I probably enjoy most of the days along the way - but it is far too pedestrian and passive - and I don’t normally feel as though I’m closer to a goal. Some goal. Any goal. Really - just any sense of forward progress. Unless the goal is getting through the week and keeping everyone alive. Then along rolls Monday and I start it all again. So - this leads to a larger meta question: what should the goal be? What would progress (forward or backwards) look like? And that’s when I realized I was working on the problem the wrong way. This isn’t about picking “The Goal” (great book, but I digress). It’s about picking a goal . Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good enough. This leaves me with the distinct problem of “what’s good enough” - which can easily morph back into “perfect” - but I’m going to try not to do it. ...